


The Pen is Mightier than the Heart

by RosexKnight



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, Hilarity, M/M, golden author - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:50:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3923566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosexKnight/pseuds/RosexKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>mrgoldsdearie made this post on Tumblr about shipping Golden Author and things escalated quickly when I asked for prompts. So here’s some Golden Author.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pen is Mightier than the Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrgoldsdearie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrgoldsdearie/gifts).



> (( I filled every prompt I got and had WAY too much fun with this. Enjoy~ ))

_Anonymous Prompted: the author was the one who wrote that the DO rumple would wear leather pants_

The author did not have favorite characters.

He made a point not to get too emotionally involved with the characters. Ever since Cruella, he simply knew it would be a bad idea. But who could really blame him for being drawn to Rumpelstiltskin? The poor spinner who got into dark magic for power to protect his son? It was a classic tale, and he understood his plight.

Isaac had came from nothing. Made himself something with a book and a pen. Fought hard for success but never quite achieved it. Got driven mad by seeing happy ending after happy ending of those who never deserved it. They were two sides of the same coin, he and Rumpelstiltskin. It was really no wonder he’d be drawn to The Dark One.

And a great villain needed a great wardrobe, didn’t he? Especially The Dark One.

“Leather!” The Author said in a moment of epiphany to no one in particular as he began to write. Pity no one was here to witness a master at work. “And dragon hide. And fur. And leather pants.”

Yes. Leather pants. He wrote the words in ink, knowing that somewhere Rumpelstiltskin was deciding that leather pants were the best idea ever for a wardrobe, and he tried not to notice how much he enjoyed that thought. Rumpelstiltskin in leather pants.

Oh he was in trouble…

~

Oh he was in trouble.

But it was SO GOOD to be out of the book.

The fact that the heroes were chasing him and that Rumpelstiltskin had just informed him that there was no magic in these trees was just a technicality, really.

“I need to go.” Isaac said firmly as he heard the heroes catching up.

He’d meant to run. Run and find a place to lie low and pretend that the perfectly tailored suit didn’t make this version of Rumpelstiltskin even better than his Enchanted Forest counterpart.

“Yes you do, or…you could come with me.” The imp said.

Isaac chuckled. “And why would I do that? You are perhaps the biggest pain in the ass I have ever had the displeasure of writing about.”

Yes. Good. No feelings would be suspected now.

Rumpelstiltskin was unfazed, merely scoffing. Gods but he was in his element when he was being evil.

“Yes there is that. But there is also this.”

And as if from thin air Rumpelstiltskin produced his pen. For a moment the author faltered, looking longingly at his instrument.

“What do you want from me?”

“You are going to write me a whole bunch of new happy endings.”

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. But the heroes were closing in. And he’d always wanted to give the villains what they deserved. Especially this one.

“Alright.”

“I thought so.”

And then Rumpelstiltskin was waving his hand, and they were encircled in magic. Oh he was in trouble. At this point, though, he just had to play it cool. He could do that. How hard could that be?

~

It was boring, terribly boring in the cabin. And the fact that he had to put up with the dragon or squid watching him was worse. At least Rumpelstiltskin had given him a pen and notebook. It wasn’t magic ink and quill, but hey at least he cared.

Isaac was quite looking forward to writing happy endings for them. Well, him at least. He’d make sure to make it a very good one.

“What are you concentrating so hard on?” Malifacent asked from her spot beside him.

“Nothing.” He said instantly, clutching the notebook he’d been writing in to his chest.

But Mal was of course Mal and with magic she had it in her hand. He could feel the red rise in his cheek as her eyes skimmed the page.

“Is this fanfiction?!” She asked. “With you and…?”

“Yes. Can I have it back? I was getting to the good part.”

The dragon witch rolled her eyes, giving him the notebook back. “You need way more help than any of us can give.”

He snatched the notebook back. What did she know anyway?

~

_Anonymous Prompted: Rumple finds the Author’s fanfiction..akwardness ensues_

Isaac often wondered what it felt like to be staring down Rumpelstiltskin. He imagined The Dark One could be rather intimidating when he wanted to be. He could probably make grown men cave without lifting a finger. That’s what he’d always thought.

Now, the author knew it was true.

Gods he’d kill Malifacent.

“Are you going to tell me the meaning of this?” Rumpelstiltskin asked, holding up the notebook he’d provided the author with when they first arrived at the cabin. Before when Cruella and Ursula and Malifacent were still with them.

The author’s stomach was lurching, and he couldn’t tell if he wished one of them were still here or if he was glad he didn’t have anyone else watching.

He had the urge to bolt out the door and take his chances with the heroes and ask Rumpelstiltskin how he’d gotten his character down all at the same time. Given the material though, he doubted that would be appropriate. Though it didn’t stop him from hoping Rumpelstiltskin brought it up. Somehow, he adored the thought.

“Experimenting.” The author tried, hoping his lie was enough to convince The Dark One. “I was drunk?”

Rumpelstiltskin gave him a frown. The author knew where his heart lied. With Belle. Not with him. Never with him. But he had his pen. And anything could happen with it. Could anyone really blame him for writing his fantasies? He was the author. It’s what he did!

The Dark One all but threw his notebook to the floor, the paper hitting the wood with a loud thud. “We will never speak of this again.” he all but growled.

The author ignored the shiver that ran up his spine as he swallowed and nodded. “Deal.”

~

_Anonymous Prompted: Maybe you could write a scene in which the author talks to Belle about Rumple? It could be an argument or it could go well._

He needed to know. He NEEDED to know.

What the hell was so fucking great about HER?

Isaac had hardly payed attention to Belle when he wrote her. She seemed pretty standard. Rumpelstiltskin had a thing for brunettes and Belle was pretty enough so he could see the physical attraction. But True Love? More like Stockholm Syndrome.

In the author’s opinion, Belle did not deserve Rumpelstiltskin. But he still needed to know what he saw in her. And so, on the rare occasion Rumpelstiltskin left him alone, he found himself wandering into the pawn shop.

Belle was immediately in guard from her spot behind the counter, a book open before her. Seems her puppy wasn’t with her today. “What do you want?”

“So you do know who I am.” He mused, keeping his voice even and a smile on his face. She was clever. That was a point.

“The author.” Belle said. “Yes. I do. And there’s no magic ink here.”

“Oh I know. Your husband is working on that. I came here for you.”

She quirked her head at him. It was obvious she didn’t trust him, but the mention of Rumpelstiltskin made her soften. “Me?”

The author nodded. “I wanted to see what he saw in you. So how do you know there’s no ink?”

His words cut her, he could see it in her eyes, but she remained steadfast.

“I spent months dusting his collection. And had a few years to memorize this shop. Of course I know it.” Something flared behind her eyes as she marked and closed the book. “You should know. You wrote our story.”

“I only wrote it as it happened.”

“You didn’t…meddle?”

“Not with yours.” Not that he didn’t want to.

“Good.” She said, her voice more soft as she leaned over the counter, “so you’re going to do it then? Write…happy endings for the villains.”

Isaac nodded, a bit surprised by her sudden shift in tone. Wasn’t she supposed to be distrusting? She wasn’t supposed to be on board with this! And why did it feel like her eyes were reading him like a book? He didn’t like it.

“Your husband seems very confident. He’s planned this out very well.”

“Yes it seems he did.” Her voice held little bitterness. Mostly hurt. “He’s good at that.”

The author blinked, realization dawning in his eyes. “You’re not going to try and stop us.”

“You thought I would?” Belle asked, a smile teasing her lips.

“Aren’t you a hero?”

She only shrugged. “I’m Rumpelstiltskin’s wife. It’s a matter of opinion.”

“So you…you’re not over him.”

“I can never be over him! He was…anyway.” Belle cleared her throat, standing up straighter, suddenly all business. “I just want to know if this will work. I don’t want him to lose who he is to the darkness.”

The author realized he really should have payed more attention to Belle. He’d been so wrapped up in leather pants and high-pitched giggles and infinite power that he hadn’t thought much to look past that to the spinner. Belle, however, had not only seen the spinner but the monster as well. And still loved him.

“Can you make sure that happens? Can you…save him?”

Isaac blinked, brought back by her words. He gave her a smile. “I think I can do that.”

The brunette nodded, seeming to be satisfied with this.

“What about you? What’s your happy ending?” He found himself asking. Belle didn’t think herself a hero, so that was fine. She was neutral. A grey area. She wouldn’t have to be miserable.

“I haven’t thought about that in a while.” She said, giving him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “You’re the author aren’t you? Shouldn’t you know?”

The author nodded, giving a breath through his nose. “I see it now.” He smiled when she tilted her head at him. “What he sees in you.”

This time the smile did reach her eyes, and he turned to walk out of the shop. He needed to get back to wherever he was supposed to be before The Dark One realized he was gone. He didn’t fancy the thought of the way Rumpelstiltskin would punish him if he’d wandered off, especially to where he’d gone. He decided that he liked Belle, though.

Eve if she still didn’t deserve Rumpelstiltskin.

~

_Anonumous Prompted: the author persuading rumple to go have breakfast at granny’s and his dismaymwhen Hook interrupys their “date” (full mode protective author)_

Rumpelstiltskin was hurting. Not just because the heart in his chest turning to coal but because of the petite brunette that was his wife. Belle. Hmph.

It had taken some coaxing for Rumpelstiltskin to get him to take him to Granny’s. Isaac wasn’t sure if he didn’t want to go back there because of dislike of the food or the memories he held, but after some pestering he was able to convince The Dark One to escort him to the diner.

He didn’t expect anything grand from it all. The owner was obviously biased against them, delivering nothing more than a round crust of bread.

“What’s this?” Isaac asked, holding up what he wished was a doughnut.

“It’s a bagel.” Rumpelstiltskin said.

“Of course it is, the Author mumbled throwing the bagel back onto the plate with a satisfying thump. The Dark One looked about as pleased as he felt, but at least they were out. Isaac could pretend it was a date. It sort of was. Besides if anything it could be inspiration for later.

The door swung open then and a familiar pirate walked in looking rather smug. the author groaned as Hook chirped that the plan to turn Emma dark hadn’t worked, sliding in right next to him. The other man didn’t notice the way the author was glaring at him. It was obvious that Rumpelstiltskin was niether in the mood or health to deal with Hook, though he put on a strong front. As the pirate prattled on the author made a mental note to do something particularly nasty to him in the story to come.

He’d be allergic to rum. Yeah. That’s what he got for ruining his date.

~

_Anonymous Prompted: How about the author admiring Knight!Rumple in the AU or their meeting or something like that?_

Isaac supposed he would never understand. He didn’t need her. Why would he even still want her? She’d used his dagger against him. She’d banished him. Left him in the real world with nothing but the…suit on his back. But nooo. She was still his happy ending. SHE was still what he wanted. Fine. He supposed he could understand.

The book appeared with a snap of the wizard’s fingers, and something in the author’s chest tightened as he looked at the cover. Heroes and Villains. Fitting.

“It’s time villains won.” Rumpelstiltskin rasped, and he nodded.

With a dip of his quill, he began writing, ignoring the pang in his chest. No, he didn’t need her. But she was what he wanted. She would make him happy. And really, it was the least he could do. After all, he was his favorite character.

The words were written. The magic started. The world changed around them, and for a moment Isaac was as happy as he’d ever been. It was all worth it.

Even if Henry had showed up and ruined it all. Still, he knew this world. Once the book was finished he could get out. He decided to head to a very familiar village to seek refuge with a kindhearted knight that had started as just a spinner.

Because magical golden armor was almost better than leather pants. Almost.


End file.
